Grendel
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Re:Oh god - 2007/06/21 14:35
you don't need to rely on anyone else for your happiness. go out and get what makes you happy, do what makes you happy. your peace and happiness will be like a beacon in the fog drawing others to you.
forget this fluffy romance dude, sure he's got great hair, but imagine how much money he blows on shampoo and conditioner.
the more you get your life the way you want so you may be secure and happy, the more women you'll attract.
(whether that's because you're confident or because it's more of a challenge to try to change somebody when they're happy the way they are than to change a desperate nerd life, I don't know)
I used to lay in bed desperate for someone to hold, someone to talk to, someone to share with.
I used to approach girls as "hmm she's nice I wonder if she would date me" etc.
but you know, sometimes if what you're doing isn't getting you what you want you have to try something new.
moping about wasn't getting me what I wanted, so I decided fuck it, maybe having a girlfriend/lover isn't the key to happiness, maybe laying around expecting change to happen to me through miracles is taking too long.
I decided that I was going to be responsible for my happiness.
I had quit smoking, started running and doing push ups every day, and I started to see women not as possible conquests, but as friends.
here is so and so, she is my friend, same as Bob or whoever.
I stopped relying on others for my happiness.
then I met Kat one day at work when she put a freezing can of coke on the back of my neck while I was on a call.
then I started smoking again and stopped working out.
how did that happen?
a little back sliding, but I still appreciate that no one in this world will bring me happiness but myself, not my wife, not my parents, not my friends.
it is something I have to do for myself.
well I decided I am no longer a smoker as of like 3 months ago, I quit drinking caffiene over a year ago, I'm taking stupid SSRI's even though I hate them, getting some exercise from amtgard multiple times a week (FP, IMD, sunday NH) but I know it's not enough for me and I need to do more.
I'm not perfect and I backslide (a body at rest in front of the tv truly does tend to stay at rest) 
I don't know why I decided to write all this stuff to you, but I guess my message is,
Find what you need to be happy and take it for yourself, fuck everything else that stands in your way of happiness (including yourself)
Jiddu Krishnamurti said "Be a Light unto yourself"
may you find some inspiration, some introspection and some happiness.
Dragoon
Strike First. Strike Hard. No Mercy.
Hús Vetra Skald
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